Bullying
Community cultures are established to meet an individual’s four basic needs of power, freedom, fun and love. At the same time, schools and other community organizations have developed structures to educate individuals, provide a sense of belonging, safety and security, and inclusion as they learn skills for success and daily living. By the same token, the desire to meet their basic needs of power, freedom, fun and love have caused some individuals (adults and children) to exercise behaviors that are unsafe for themselves and others in the environment. While many individuals enjoy the opportunity to fellowship with their peers with a certain level of self control, others find it difficult to do so without becoming overly aggressive to the point of physical or verbal abuse, manipulation and belittling others. Good old fashioned friendly competition among friends in various settings that created fun and friendships years ago have developed into opportunities for bullying. Electronic communication that once allowed individuals living thousands of miles apart to stay connected, have been transformed into cyber-bullying devices to perpetrate crimes against others. Friends who were once caregivers and confidant have become selfish, deadly predators; and an individual’s right to freedom of expression whether through words, clothing or life style is now threatened by others who believe that it is their right to intimidate or hurt others. Undoubtedly, this change is not happening without reason and it did not begin overnight.
To understand this dilemma, it is important to ask the questions --what is the cause and why?
Children model what they hear and see from those they idolize. Some parents who were bullied during childhood develop into aggressive adults who bully others in the hope of feeling they have regained control. Children who are bullied by a parent or sibling at home tend to bully others to appear strong and in control. However, they are inwardly struggling to address the real issues of low self-esteem, depression and self-loathing and bullying others will not solve the problem. Instead, those who bully others tend to escalate their behaviors thereby perpetrating very violent crimes that place them under the authority of the Criminal Justice System. As a society, crucial steps should be taken to effectively address the problem of bullying; and to identify and implement interventions to appropriately address the problem. Community organizations such as law enforcement using the DARE program, have developed intervention models to address the problem of bullying. However, parents and families are crucial to teaching and empowering children and families about the negative consequences of bullying and other issues like it. It starts with us! You may ask: Well how do I deal with this situation when I was bullied and now my child is being bullied? As an adult, you may even be in a relationship where you are being bullied by your spouse --verbally, physically and emotionally. My answer is: Get Help! Pride and shame may rear it's ugly head to make you think you don't want anyone to know what you are dealing with, but would you rather end up loosing your mind or your life and killing that person because you chose not to get help?
I get it! That statement is rather harsh, but the reality is just that and sugar-coating it will not help you! The problem is big enough for you to ask for help. It is understandable that you may think it will get better, the spouse is just going through a phase; or you're scared, but you still need help! I do not advise you to tell everyone your situation because some people may offer wrong advise even when they mean well. Start with your deacon or pastor to pray with you and to help direct or lead you to the right organization that could provide a proper perspective and the appropriate interventions; or at least they would be able to guide you in the right direction. Next, be true to yourself and be willing to accept constructive criticism as it will help you address anything you may be in denial about. Third, once you decide to move forward, finish what you started, because it is the only way to be strengthened to overcome. If you are the abuser, the same steps apply, but be willing to also accept responsibility for your role and actions, because accepting responsibility is one of the key steps in reducing and eventually eradicating your offending. Try to make restitution to the persons you offended and finally, be an example that someone else can see and use to change their life for the better!
To understand this dilemma, it is important to ask the questions --what is the cause and why?
Children model what they hear and see from those they idolize. Some parents who were bullied during childhood develop into aggressive adults who bully others in the hope of feeling they have regained control. Children who are bullied by a parent or sibling at home tend to bully others to appear strong and in control. However, they are inwardly struggling to address the real issues of low self-esteem, depression and self-loathing and bullying others will not solve the problem. Instead, those who bully others tend to escalate their behaviors thereby perpetrating very violent crimes that place them under the authority of the Criminal Justice System. As a society, crucial steps should be taken to effectively address the problem of bullying; and to identify and implement interventions to appropriately address the problem. Community organizations such as law enforcement using the DARE program, have developed intervention models to address the problem of bullying. However, parents and families are crucial to teaching and empowering children and families about the negative consequences of bullying and other issues like it. It starts with us! You may ask: Well how do I deal with this situation when I was bullied and now my child is being bullied? As an adult, you may even be in a relationship where you are being bullied by your spouse --verbally, physically and emotionally. My answer is: Get Help! Pride and shame may rear it's ugly head to make you think you don't want anyone to know what you are dealing with, but would you rather end up loosing your mind or your life and killing that person because you chose not to get help?
I get it! That statement is rather harsh, but the reality is just that and sugar-coating it will not help you! The problem is big enough for you to ask for help. It is understandable that you may think it will get better, the spouse is just going through a phase; or you're scared, but you still need help! I do not advise you to tell everyone your situation because some people may offer wrong advise even when they mean well. Start with your deacon or pastor to pray with you and to help direct or lead you to the right organization that could provide a proper perspective and the appropriate interventions; or at least they would be able to guide you in the right direction. Next, be true to yourself and be willing to accept constructive criticism as it will help you address anything you may be in denial about. Third, once you decide to move forward, finish what you started, because it is the only way to be strengthened to overcome. If you are the abuser, the same steps apply, but be willing to also accept responsibility for your role and actions, because accepting responsibility is one of the key steps in reducing and eventually eradicating your offending. Try to make restitution to the persons you offended and finally, be an example that someone else can see and use to change their life for the better!
Copyright © 2028 Intervention For The Soul of Man (kind). All Rights Reserved.
